'cause my name is Lemons, innit?

Yes yes. I realise it’s been a while and you’ve all been terribly worried about me / impatient for news. And no, it hasn’t taken me all of this time just to choose which colours to make the title on my brand-spanking-new blog page. Although that did take an in-ordinate amount of time and I ended up having to ask one of the graphic designers that I sit with to choose the colour for me. I did design the background though – my ‘wallpaper’ if you will. You like it? It has Lemons in it – cause my name is Lemons innit? Before I launch back into my blog I feel it’s only fair to give those of you who read regularly a quick update on the happenings in my life:

1. Nathan has gone to live in Dubai. Woe is me. I've learned to use Skype.


2. Big Tone (my Dad) has lost 3 stone. He is now to be referred to as Tiny Tone.


3. Bookshop man has sold me approximately £800 worth of novels which I have not read. I have still not plucked up the courage to ask him out.


4. I cut my hair off. Disaster. Not as bad as the time when a kiwi woman took the clippers to my bonce, but a close second.


5. My housemate moved out. I cried for a week. He took the TV and I was forced to invest in a new one in order to maintain my addiction to Eastenders.


6. I have a new housemate. In the 5 weeks since he 'moved in' he has slept in his bed 4 times. He has 2 grammy awards though, so he can do whatever the frick he likes.


7. Did I mention that my flatmate has 2 grammy awards? Unlike my old flatmate, who has no grammy awards.


8. Ronnie stole Kat's baby and passed it off as hers after her own baby died in a cot death. She hasn't given it back yet.


9. I convinced myself that I had finally met the new Mr. Lemons. Turns out he fancied my friend.


10. I was referred to by one of my colleagues as resembling a 'maturing piece of Stilton'. I'm hoping he wasn't referring to blue veins.

Now....read on for my latest post....You'll find it on the menu on the right (instructions for my Mum), along with an archive of all of my posts from the Urban Elite site.