So the Apprentice is back. I’ve missed a few series, but I sat down last night and have now added it to my Sky+ recording schedule for hangover / post-Easties viewing. Where do they find these people? I know it’s a fairly obvious question to ask, but nobody seems to be able to answer it for me or point me in the direction of anyone like them.
Do people really exist who work for a ‘major accounting firm’ yet cannot identify an orange? I’d understood that the orange had been commonplace in household fruit-bowls for a few hundred years now, but perhaps that’s a middle-class delusion.
Perhaps my familiarity with the citrus family is down to my comfortable upbringing or due to my unusual surname. Perhaps I’m being unfair and nobody has ever sat down with last night’s loser Edward and explained to him what an orange looks like, or told him how good it tastes.
I don’t believe for a second, however, that nobody has ever told him that he is a mouthy little tw@t.
In fact, I’m quite sure that each and every one of the contestants has, at some point or other, been told in no uncertain terms that their very presence is offensive. Yet still. There they are. On my tv. Telling me they’re the best. Making me record them out of morbid fascination.
I am better than all of them. Which does not necessarily make me a good business woman or a fantastic person to get stuck in a lift with. But I am definitely better than them. And, the likelihood is, so are you. You know what time breakfast is right?
I would go on The Apprentice myself were it not for the fact that I have a (slightly) more reasonable self-image than they do. I understand that my prowess as a sales-woman at the Brownies annual jumble sale does not make me the next Alan Sugar, and the fact that people do not vomit when they pass me in the street does not make me good-looking enough for television.
I’m sure some of you will defend them, as they do themselves in the ‘Boardroom’, by referencing their successful sandwich businesses or invention for a nail-file (now available in Boots). But if they are such fantastic entrepreneurs, why do they need Lord Alan?
If it’s for the 6-figure salary, then they will have been sorely disappointed when he changed the goal-posts last night, offering a prize of a measly £250,000 injection into a business that they will have to partner with him. LOL. Did you see their faces? I saw tears.
Anyway…I will be tuning in tonight for the next instalment….
Stuff I liked this week
Not unrelated….this guy presents data about himself in a beautifully designed annual report: http://feltron.com/
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